Shine a Little Light

cascara fizz tea, not lemonade 🍋     I started to use art as a reflection tool and a place to escape from a brutal yet mundane life since my time in econ grad school.  My Ph.D. program put lots of emphasis on dry theories, which I knew before applying to the program (and I thought I could handle), but I always had been more interested in the applied and practical fields of economics.  A few professors made insensitive comments about their research, such as, "I write my theories as I write a novel. The only difference is the language I am using. I am using mathematics and statistics as my language." (OK, so far, so good.) "Like fantasy novels, I don't think my theory and research need to reflect the real world."  This is a quote from a professor who studies public finance - isn't it scary that this theory, made by someone who does not care about the real world, can be used to model our tax and social security system?  I started to see a...

Thanks for the friendship and making me smile :)      So I've had quite a lot of people asking me whether I have been bored at home.  Luckily my answer is "no."  When I got home from the hospital, I barely survived every day due to having extreme pain and being drowsy all the time - so there was no time to be bored back then.  Lately, my pain became tolerable, and yes, I do feel trapped at home.   I miss the feeling of the fresh air on my face, and it will be cold winter when I can go outside by myself with lesser risk.  I am very disheartened to take a leave of absence (again! Deja vu!) from the new school and the program.  So, I definitely want to get out there!  However, speaking of my boredom, I have kept myself busy at home and haven't felt bored at all yet!  In fact, I think days are passing by so quickly.  Here are the things I do at home these days. 1. Reading    I am currently reading ten book...

Works by Claes Oldenburg and Coosje van Bruggen at 2019 FOG Art Fair in San Francisco    How we view the world depends on what we experience and what we surround ourselves with.  We cannot control entirely of what we experience - my experiences of being a patient are good examples of this, but in some measure, we can control how we react in the aftermath of bad experiences.  Currently, my life is all about rising above my physical discomfort/pain and emotional aftershock.    Honestly, I am not doing a good job.  I complain too much to Robert, my friends, and my mom, so I feel very guilty about putting them through a difficult time with me.  However, in light of this, now I know (slightly) better about whom I can trust and build a life-long friendship with.    When Robert and friends give me good advice and encouragement, my days are lighter and I can focus on my recovery without worrying too much.  I always try t...

Rodin's works at NCMA    You Only Live Once (YOLO) - this is the dilemma I have been having for so long.  I love planning, setting goals, and working somewhat hard to achieve my goals in every way possible (although how life works is funny as I wrote in the first post and things do not go as planned).  So you might think that YOLO is not my identity...    I spent my college years prepping myself to become an economist - I double majored in math even if I didn't love math and took Ph.D. level core courses, so my application would look good.  I got into grad school with full funding, and I thought I cleared the first step of becoming a professional economist.  But, oh well, I had a rough first year in grad school - my beloved uncle, whom I considered a brother to me, suddenly passed away in the fall, and my grandma, whom I regarded as my second-mother, got sick with terminal cancer within a few months.  I seriously thought about tak...

Hawaii, the Big Island - where we went for our honeymoon It is very funny how life works out.   When I thought I reached closer to my dream of becoming an economist (specifically I wanted to work for reducing income inequality and fighting poverty) by getting into an economics Ph.D. program, mishaps happened and I fell back.  However, my letdown from grad school made me move to Los Angeles and find my lover, my husband.   So far, my life has been lots of ups and downs as everyone's life would be - these ups and downs give us character and stories to share.  I recently had an accident and I am still in a process of recovery, which I will write about for sure later.  It is still difficult for me to overcome my sadness from having an accident and all the troubles coming from its consequences, but because of this accident, I finally have time to start writing for my own blog.   Let's see how it goes!